Okay, so for those of you who don’t already know, I’m leaving on a trip to California tomorrow. This is not just any trip, it’s a trip that I’m travelling all on my own- yep, that’s right, no husband, no baby. I’m going to visit two of my best friends and some of our family, so I should be super excited, right? Well, I was until today. I think I am having a mild anxiety attack about leaving Miles for a week. It has nothing to do with Dillon’s abilities to completely care for Miles. I know they will both be just fine without me. As a matter of fact, I know they will probably have a blast together because neither one of them has really had the opportunity to spend 24-7 together for any length of time. I know they will cause all sorts of mischief for the next week or so, and they will really have the opportunity to bond. My doubts are stemming from my lack of faith in myself in being able to separate myself from my little boy. Where does this fear come from? Is it a biological reaction, or is it my problem that I just need to get over? Since the day I bought my ticket, I have been so stoked to go spend time with my friends and family, but today, my fears have surfaced. I have talked to several of my friends who have gone on trips all alone and left their babies home, and they have all seemed to be so strong in doing so. I have a couple of friends who have given me “pep talks” for this trip, and I felt so sure that it’s okay for me to leave for a week all by myself. I really thought I was ready, but now I’m starting to second guess this trip. I find it strange that before I had a baby that a sense of freedom and independence was so liberating, but all of a sudden I feel crippled. Is this something that anyone else has gone through, and if so, did the fear and anxiety go away after you got on the plane?
p.s. Don’t mind my crazy messy hair in this picture… it was taken just a few days after Miles was born! 🙂