I had an interesting (and quite frankly, a little surprising) experience yesterday as I was dropping Miles off at school.
As he was walking off to his class I had a very strong, anxious and panicked feeling of “what if this is the last time I ever see him again?”. I know this sounds completely irrational, but I assure you it was real. And it hit me like a load of bricks. All the way home from his school the feeling got stronger and more pronounced. By the time we got home that’s all I could think of, and the feeling pretty much paralyzed me. I called Dillon, sobbing, needing his reassurance that I’m not a crazy person for feeling this way. My sweet husband, who knows me so well, said “If you’re feeling so strongly that you need to take him out of school, go get him. It’s not something you could regret doing.”. And once I responded “Okay, I will go get him”, the panic immediately left me and my mind was at peace. I felt warm inside again.
So, we went to pick that boy up, just an hour after school starting. Once I saw his happy (and surprised!) face I knew I did the right thing. He felt special (he said that to me in the car after leaving!) and he was just on top of the world, sitting up all straight and just so thrilled to be with his brother and sister and mama. We all spent the day together doing simple things, and I just really soaked in having all of my babies with me in one place. It was a happy, happy day. And I think we all needed it.
Now, nothing catastrophic happened yesterday, so I’m not sure why I had the feeling that I did. I may never really know why I had it. But I do know that I was (and still am) thankful that I listened and acted. And I can put complete stock in the fact that I felt a peace that can only be felt by doing the right thing.
If, for any reason, taking Miles out of school was for helping him feel extra special, it was the right thing to do. Or, if it was just a chance for me to listen to a prompting and act upon it, it was the right thing to do.
Regardless of any reason under the sun, I just KNOW it was the right thing to do.